rain, rain

It's hard to have a blog. You have to decide what you want to say, what you want people to know. I thought I would let people know this blog is out there, but then I think maybe I'd like to have a secret spot to tell the universe (and at the same time keep to myself) everything going on inside of me. Who knows. Maybe I'll be brave and let this out one day.

I had a good converstaion with Troy tonight. We talked about deep stuff. Like how people end up the way they end up. I was telling him this thing I saw on Oprah (oh how he hates these converstions.) But this one really intrigued me. Someone said that how you end up is not the product of how you were raised. You end up how you saw your mother treat herself. NOT how she treated you. And it made me think. We talked about my Mom, and we talked about his mom. Interesting.

Troy is scared about starting ECT. I am a bit scared myself. But I swear to the skies above, if this helps, even marginally, we can't take to chance of not doing it. He needs a kind of help that I don't know how to give. And a kind of help I don't know how to find for him. Our marriage will not survive without change, and I fear Troy will not survive without change. So hold on Troy, cause we need to give this a chance.