first blog

So I was just on myspace and thought I might blog there. But somehow myspace doesn't feel safe anymore. I don't know why exactly. Maybe something to do with the ease of finding out what people are doing without them knowing you're snooping. Anyway. I have some friends who have family blogs and I thought I might start one. Maybe someday I'll have interesting goings on to post here. Maybe someday I'll have photos of peanut butter encrusted faces, first days of school, a proud toothless smile, that sort of thing. Today I mowed the lawn. And I am doing laundry. And I ate a childhood favorite: pork and beans with ground beef. I needed comfort food today. I have been alone in this house since Wednesday and it is starting to hit me. At first I felt fine about Troy being in the hospital. He needed to go, it was fine. I just hate the aloneness of it. I am not lonely. I have the dog (he sure never lets you forget he is around) and the cats and friends. And if I wanted someone to be here I could call any number of people who would be happy to keep me company. But it doesn't change the fact that I am alone. I cleaned out the closet some yesterday and had piles of clothes all over the bed. So as I was getting ready to go to sleep I started clearing them off, and then realized there was more than enough room for the piles and me. And it hit me. How alone I am. So I slept with the things I no longer needed. Something poetic there that I can't quite find. Me and all the things I wanted to get rid of laid out together. I think I'll move them today.